Barbie Jeeps and Happy Prayers May Not be the Answer

I recently celebrated year four with my amazing husband Tom, which I feel deserves a "we're officially a happy married couple, not simply newly-weds" badge. Besides the point, anniversaries always make me a little sentimental, so I decided to revisit some old journals. I pulled out a box and picked up a journal from 2007. It didn't take long to realize that most of my prayers were, "help this date to go well," "help guyX to see me as who I am," "lead to me the man that I'm supposed to marry," etc. etc. Not quite as bad as praying for a new barbie jeep, but was dating and marriage my only focus in 2007? It may seem sweet, but it's really quite shallow. Where was the "forgive me of my sins, as I forgive others," the "lead me not into temptation," or the "your Kingdom come, Your will be done" (Matt 6:9-13)? I was so focused on using prayer as a God make my life happy for me right now, that I forgot to pray that God be in my life right now.

Prayer is an act of the Christian life that gets a lot of exposure. People are invited to pray before meals, they are promised prayers when someone is sick, they read about prayer on social media. Very rarely, however, are these public prayers centered on forgiveness, peace, patience, or even what we need most, salvation. Most public prayers are for physical healing or providing physical needs, which is not bad in itself. If fact, God asks us to pray for these things and he answers, so that His name is glorified (Luke 18:7, 1 John 5:14-15, Psalm 145:18-19). The struggle is that if prayers for physical needs are all that we're exposed to, God is only glorified when physical needs are met in a world that is broken. I would even venture to say that God answers prayers with supernatural peace, joy that exceeds all circumstances, and even a lesson in sanctification more than a physical healing. However, in our limited understanding we forget to thank God for these answered prayers.

In turn, we tend to equate sickness or pain as God's inability to answer prayers, but did you know that God promises that life on earth will be uncomfortable and hard at times? "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). God put a thorn in Paul's side and Paul writes in 2 Cor. 12:8, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me." Later we see Paul write, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." We also see Jesus himself understand life's pain as he prays "Father, if you are willing take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." God wants to mature us, grow us, and finish the good work that he began in us (Phil 1:6), which may not look as pretty as we want it to. It may not include a hot pink grill, power wheels, and comfy seats.

God's ultimate promise is to make all things new and restore the earth, to save people from their sin, to bring light into the darkness. We can count 100% on God's promises and in the meantime, we are to pray. In Rev. 5, it is written that the prayers of the saints are incense to God. I pray that my prayers look beyond the temporary. I also hope that when others see me and my family pray, they will know that prayer is more than a kind gesture or hope for happiness, but confidence in God who is at work daily. We probably won't spend our life jammin in a dream barbie jeep, but we'll look back and realize that our journey with Christ was just what we needed!

The "Too Much" Information Age

"The world is at our fingertips." This is a phrase we often hear and I can agree. The access that we have today is incredible. I can't tell you the amount of times "Google" (now personified) answers my questions.  In fact, here at the coffee shop, I voice searched "What's really in my Pumpkin Spice Latte" because who doesn't want to know the mystery of the goodness in this cup. I prefer to go with the site that discusses how Starbucks uses "real pumpkin" as opposed to the next search that discusses all of the extra ingredients in the sauce and syrup included in the latte. Two searches,  two answers, and one consumer left to decide on a correct answer before attending to the next task at hand.

While I may be a little upset about my conflicting pumpkin spice search, I'm not nearly as saddened as I am to see people run to Google for answers about their beliefs in Jesus. Being a consumer in the information age means that anyone can post anything. Anyone can prove anything. Authors can pick, paste, highlight, delete, and put a bow on anything that they want. I'm about to sound dated, but do remember the days when being a published author was a privilege? I lit up when the local newspaper wanted to publish my middle school poem! Today, anyone can be a publisher. This is great when we're talking about recipes or decorating our house, but our salvation? Not so much.

I've never been more thankful for the Word of God which is unchanging. I've never valued my friends who are rooted in the Word more than I do now. I've never realized how vital it is to attend a church who practices sound teaching. When tough questions have come up, it has not been Google to provide me clarity, but God's word. No coffee cup verse or inspirational Christian tweet has provided me clarity, but God's word. My recent interactions have proved that online voices can't sum up the Word of God in less than 140 characters. They have also proven that online authors can write pages upon pages of information and say nothing. God promises that his Word is a "lamp to our feet and a light to our path" (Psalm 119:105). According to Proverbs 30:5 "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words or he will rebuke you..." And not because He's an angry God, but because he is Holy and His Word is truth and life.

I still don't understand what's in my coffee, but who cares, it's just coffee :).

Don't be Fooled by the Outside, Sanctification is a Process that Starts Within...

I would argue that many people are guilty of seeing their grandparents, or those older than them, at

surface level. What I mean by this is that we see their physical presence as someone who needs help. Most 20-30 somethings have helped an elder with their new smart phone (or flip phone if your most grandparents), their email inbox, the yard work, the heavy lifting, etc. It's fun getting to help, but I have to admit that my view as "helper" has over shadowed my view of the true maturity that lies beyond the physical.

After a fun day of attempting to raft in the Brazos River, I had a chance to sit and look at the view from my grandparents back porch with my grandpa. "You sure have quite the view," I said nonchalantly. I was taken by surprise when my once very stern grandpa choked up a bit as he said, "I just so thankful..." At this point, I knew we were talking about more than the view from the porch. "I just don't know why a King would die for someone like me." Humily was all over him and in this moment. I thought, this is maturity! 

Sanctify (v.): Free from Sin; Purify; To set apart or declare Holy. 

God promises to santify believers as they walk in Him. "Being confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" -Phil 1:6.  

This same day I got my pick my grandma's brain about a bible study I was leading. The Bible to her truly his the lamp that lights the way. My grandma does not read the bible by verse, she reads it like a the true narrative it is. It's hard, but she reads and gains more knowledge every season. I asked a question about the Holy Spirt and in her response she talked about the various translations that she uses in her study, the talks that she's had with her pastors, and it is made clear to me the persistance she has in knowing truth. My grandma's response was very clear to me.. She didn't pull out a self-help Christian author, she simply responded based on what the Lord had spoken in his word. 

Not all elderly are growing in Christ. However, those who are being sancified daily have more to give this generation than we give them credit for. I pray that I will grow in humily and knowledge of God. That I will not only be able to show someone how to use the latest emoji and communicate instantly, but that I'll be able to show them Christ! 

"For this reason, I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith..." -Ephesians 3:14-17

The Loving Law: Thankful for the Drive Home

A True Texas Sunset (With a Little Photo Editing)

I'm thankful for my drive home beacause it is 10-20 minutes of built in reflection.

Do you ever think back on your day wishing you could redo conversations?  I caught myself in several conversations about beauty, marriage, and parenting the other day, only to realize that my contribution to the conversation only fell short of the truth that I stand by.  I mean Geez Britt, you aren't even a parent and you decided to contribute a half-witted response on what you thought was good parenting...

It's times like these that I realize how LIFE-SAVING and LOVING my God and Father was to give me the Bible.  As a kid, rules and guidelines seemed unfair, but as an adult, I love direction and boundaries. In fact, in a world of mixed views, I want someone to remind of of what is right. Not just any someone, I want the creator of all things, to tell me what is right.

"The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.  The statues of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart." -Psalm 19:7-9

In a culture that tells me beauty is that brand name look, the word reminds me in 1 Peter 3:3-4, "Don't let your adornment be merely outward- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, rather let it be the hidden person of the the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentel and quiet spirit."

PAUSE. Don't get me wrong girls: I love me some fashion! In fact, I just posted a selfie a few nights ago on Insta of my summer Etsy purchase.  Not that it matters, but I got quite a few likes and several comments. The point is, the word reminds me that this purchase, does not make me more beautiful. The word reminds me of the inward beauty that won't fade like my monogrammed cap will. And eventhough I plan to braid my hair and wear that cap in the most fashionable way I know, beauty can't be purchased, it must be practiced, and it is going to take lots of prayer because I have a long way to go. Some of the most beautiful women are know are far past their "prime."

In a culture that says marriage should make me happy, the Bible reminds me that marriage is a convenant and I can joyfully serve my husband realizing that we are both sinners in need of grace. This sounds so good in the blog, but I need reminded of it daily!  I have the best husband EVER, but the moment I put pressure on him to be my Savior, dissapointment sets in.  This usually ends in sobby Britt tears. Marriage is not about being served, but serving, submitting, adn honoring. While it's not always the popular opinion in our world, God's way is the right one.I find myself thanking God for my husband all the time and experiencing more joy in marriage than I thought possible.

In a culture that says I can be a "cool mom" (someday), the word shows me how to be loving in sharing truth and providing discipline (Proverbs 13:24).  Even God the Father "disciplines those he loves. Hebrews 12:7 reads, "Endure hardship and discipline; God is treating you as sons.  For what son is not disciplined by his Father."The Lord is maturing me daily and loving me by showing me ways that I need to grow. I pray that I will be a mom who loving disciplines her children as well and I know I'll need to be reminded of this truth as I have kids.

At The Village Church, Matt Chandler always gives this analogy: The word is like a cat-scan, it reveals places that I'm weak, so that God can start healing those places. I need to know where I fall short, so that I can run even closer to the healer.  Although I may have missed opportunity to speak truth last week, I'm thankful for the drive home! I'm thankful that truth is hidden in my heart, and available to us in the Bible. I'm thankful to have one place which blots out grey and reminds me of the life I'm called to live. The law is loving!

National #LaughAtYourself Day (created after an embarrassing moment)

May 6, 2015 - AKA: #RideYourBiketoSchoolDay

I'm fortunate to work at amazing ES campuses where teachers get excited for kids.  They do what it takes to get their students excited about learning.  Even if that means showing up to school with a mini-scooter, classic retro bike, or even a double-seater on National Ride Your Bike to School Day! 

I show roll up in my husband's pick up with my torquise gently-used TREK bike placed strategicially in the bed.  I can't help but smile silently as I'm ready to capture the day in photo and enjoy these amazing people.  After checking in, I chat with excited front office staff and wait for 8:00 to come.

You can hear the excited cheers as upper grades line the front of the parking lot.  Butcher paper crinkles in the wind as first grade holds a big sign dedicated to the day.  Several policemen are in the front of a line of bikes, followed by teachers, and behind them, the entire first grade.  In this order, we will make laps to celebrate. 

My wheels start rolling, and this is by far one of the most exciting starts to the school day I've had all year.  I hear little feet and giggling behind me as the thought enters my tiny brain, "This is a kodak moment!"  Being the Instructional Technology coach on campus, I always have my phone attached at the hip.  One hand on the handle bars, the other stumbling to the camera app, I turn to see the canvas of faces.  Suddenly, my front wheel of my torquise TREK veers to the left.  I correct to the right, and before I know it, I am completely off balance.  I'm headed toward zealous kids who are at the front of the line.  "Watch Out...Sorry...Watch Out..." I yell as I take out three kids.  Yes I ran right in to three kids! I wind up inches from the parked cars in the lot.

Thought #1 enters my head, "Did I just injure sweet innocent 1st graders?" Then I look up to see them well on their way and completely happy as if nothing happened.  Though #2 rushes over me, "You're the worst role model EVER."  No helmet, phone in hand, steering one-handed in front of 1st graders who are well aware of their bike safety rules. Red flushes over my face.  The unbalanced move was slow mo...so much so, that NO ONE missed it.  I look up to see half of the well-entertained audience laugh with me (I preferred this response actually), the other half worried that I'm hurt.  The only thing hurt was my ego as I laugh out of embarrassment and wheel my bike back to the crowd.  

I left the day with three great things:

1. A priceless story - I could not have made this up!
2. A reminder of how some days, I just have to laugh at myself.
3. The power of being humbled and sharing my weaknesses with others. I will name this day #NationalLaughatYourselfDay as I was well aware of my human self and my weaknesses.  I have the tendendency to want to put on a pretty faucade, when really, I live in a body full of human limitations (physically, mentally, spiritually).      

Paul was humbled, and he both spoke and preached out of humility.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why I delight in in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecitions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Cor 12:9-10

I'm not comparing myself to Paul. Paul is making reference to very difficult persecution, while I simply whitnessed a little embarassment, but I do believe that there is power in humility.  On May 6th God reminded me of my limitations.  My testimony is my weakness, and God's strength in every aspect of my life.  The cleaned up pretty self that I parade in, may not reveal my dire need for God each day.

Real Talk

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a people person. Striking up conversation with friends, teachers, my cashier at the grocery store, has never bothered me.  I both blame and thank my dad for this.  We were that family that everyone knew was on the plane, if you know what I mean.  My husband now gets to live with a little of that angst to stir up the silence and be connected.  It's like the desire to know poeple, and if I'm being honest with myself, to be known by people, is in my DNA.  

My amazing husband jokes with me..."someday we're going to run out of things to talk about and all there will be left is the weather."  He knows this is not true and I always laugh because I know it is not true either (If nothing else, we can talk about me...joking).  In a sense though, there is some truth to what he says.  While I love striking up conversation about the weather, favorite TV shows, new restuarants, coffee, crafts, my dog, etc. I long for meaningful conversations.  I long for conversations about Christ, the creator and sustainer of life. Conversation about salvation and purpose.  While talking is second nature to me, talking about Christ is not always easy, and not because I do not want to.  I fear the roll of the eyes, the silence that may follow, or the possibility that I may not get an invite to the next get together if I get "all spiritual."

Truth is, as a Christian, my whole purpose in life is to know Christ and to make Him known.  In fact, glorying God is what I was designed for, and it brings true joy.  Paul emphasizes this fact in Philippians 3:8 "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."  In Colossians, Paul says that he will labor with all of his energy to "present everyone perfect in Christ."  In Colossians 2:2 he writes, "My purpose is that they  may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ."  Even when talking to believers, Paul's purpose is to encourage them in their faith and bring others closer to Christ.  Paul had some "Real Talk" in his day, and honestly, he must have truly loved both God and others to have this mindset.

Even non-believers understand the extent of the Christian's purpose.  In an interview, Pen and Teller said, How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?"  You won't find me yelling from street corners or picketing with a Jesus sign, but my prayer is that I'll believe this truth so much, that I'll share despte the pushback that I may recieve.  My prayer is that bringing up Christ in conversation will be natural, because Christ is not a section of my life, He is my life.  My prayer is that my friends Christian and not, neighbors, co-workers, heck, even the cashier at the grocery store and other passengers on the plane will know that I am a believer in Christ.  I've got a long way to go friends.

Confidently Disciplined, Even in the Sight of Mr. Dreamy

As I indulge in the guilty pleasure of watching "The Bachelorette" with one of my close neighbors, we both pose the question, why is it seen as a fault or insecurity for a woman to be a virgin?  We're engulfed in the pivotal moment when the woman is invited into the fantasy suite and forced to tell "Mr. Dreamy" that she is waiting for marriage.  Before you read on, let me assure you, this is not a legalistic post about the do's and don'ts of purity, but more of a thankfulness of values that were instilled in me, and a fear to pass values on to others.

It feels crazy to think that I am at the age of wondering what I will pass on to the "younger generation," but the fact is, my whole life should be a testament to what I believe and I should live as a model for younger women.  As I keep up with a study in Judges, a certain verse has been on my mind, "When all that generations had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not knowt he Lord, or the work which he had done" (Judges 2:10).  This is scary, a generation who did not know God?  But it was true, and believe me, without God on their mind, they did not have good days ahead.  I firmly believe that the Lord has a perfect design for us as His children, he has set boundaries and rules for living that both protect us, and lead us to a life of joy.  Note, I did not say a life of happiness (sudden emotion), but a life of Joy (constant hope).

After looking at the evil that is in my heart, which I am happy has been revealed to me, my Father in Heaven would be so cruel to pat me on the back and say, "Keep it Up Britt Horn."  What if His thoughts were, "I will let her sin so that she doesn't have to feel shame, guilt, or consequence." This is crazy, no parent would do this to their child.  However, I feel that we do this, and I am guilty of it.  Don't get me wrong, full life in the Lord is not about following rules, but when we obey him and walk close to Him, we are sheilded from consequences of enticing our sinful nature.  Hebrews provides great advice for us as children of a good and perfect Father, "Endure hardship and discipline; God is training you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? (vs 7).  "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12: 10-11).  God disciplines those He loves.  Like a good father, God is on our side and wants the best for us, even if that means discipline and being counter cultural.

I am glad that the woman on the Bachelor gets to tell Mr. Dreamy that she is a virgin, but what if she walked confidently in that statement?  What if I made a conscious effort to walk confidently in my decisions to follow the disicpline of my father?  This is a scary thought, but what if I was honest about my struggle and used that as a testament to my Father who is maturing me?  I hope and pray that I do not allow the generation following me to grow up without an example of what it is like to live a life of Joy as a daughter of the King.